Bad news, y’all: Santana and Brittany are Cheerios again, which means we’ll see them in uniforms 99% of the time.

Bummer. I mean, they look cute and all but I’ll miss Santana’s crazy lesbian biker chic looks, and you know I love me some Brittany outfits.

 

But, you know what’s worse than wearing a cheerleading uniform every day? Whatever Quinn’s got going on this year.

Now, the pink hair I could have gotten behind. Gwen Stefani used to rock it, Katy Perry’s got it going on right now. I used to have a pink streak in my hair. It’s cool. But the Lady Gaga glasses and the weird way she’s talking? Sorry girlfriend, but I’m not buying it.

Oh. Dear. God. Where do I begin? The grimy T-shirt that looks like it was used to clean someone’s car? The ugly fringed bag that’s probably embarrassed to be seen with the rest of the outfit? The cigarette that she probably doesn’t even smoke right? No, what really takes the cake is that full length tie-dyed skirt. That is just the worst.

Oh. An ironic Ryan Seacrest tramp stamp tattoo. I guess the skirt’s not as bad as I thought.

 

Now, one person who seems to be set up to have a great year is Mercedes. She’s got a new man and is feeling seriously fly. And that’s great, because does anyone remember Insecure Diva Mercedes? I don’t need to see her again. And look! Her boyfriend is Tinker from Friday Night Lights.

Too cute! But for reals, lady? Time to expand your wardrobe beyond T-shirts, jeans and funky sneakers. I mean, I like all those things too. But it can be fun to branch out a little.

See that? That is so Mercedes Jones circa 2010. Let’s move forward.

 

Someone who has expanded her wardrobe (thank god) is Tina. She’s finally realized that there are more fun colors in the Crayola box than black, grey and white. Just look at this adorable electric blue dress she rocked during “We Got The Beat”.

While she may have the beat though, she certainly doesn’t have the boots. It was hard to get a look at the ones she had on, but here’s a blurry shot.

They appear to be floral Docs paired with black knee socks. And while an outfit may exist that these could be paired with, a funky 60s inspired dress was not that opportunity. Let’s go to the mall, Tina. There are much better boots out there.

 

Don’t worry, Tina and Mercedes – all divas get it wrong now and then. Just look at Rachel here.

Oh, that’s not Rachel. But she may as well be! In fact, it’s a whole group of Rachel and Kurt doppelgangers, all trying to get into the same New York drama school. If you watched The Glee Project you might recognize the girl in the middle, Lindsay Pearce. She was a runner up and totally killed her first of two appearances on Glee. I actually like everything she’s wearing, the problem is that it wasn’t very flattering on her. I know she’s way cuter than those horizontal stripes make her look.

 

Now here’s Rachel. And it’s a travesty.

I might hate this outfit more than I hate Quinn right now, and that’s a lot. A pumpkin colored sweater with horizontal stripes? A high-waisted mid-calf length skirt?! ANKLE SOCKS? She looks like a pilgrim, not a high school student! What was she thinking?

 

Now while we’re on the topic of ugly clothes, can we talk about ugly behavior? First of all, food fights. Not cool, not fun, not fashionable. Just look at poor Kurt, trying to shield his designer clothes behind a cafeteria tray.

 

Poor Rachel just stood there and wailed.

 

Brittany took the opportunity to keep on dancing. Never change, Brittany S. Pierce.

 

Also majorly uncool? Santana setting one of Schue’s purple pianos on fire. Sure, it added a certain pizzazz to Blaine’s already charismatic performance, but her intent was much more malevolent.

 

Speaking of Sue, she’s running for office and wants to cut arts programs from schools until reading levels are up. Because, you know, football players and cheerleaders are typically so well-read. Anyway, if Sue wants to overtake “Anyone White” or “I don’t care, please stop calling me during dinner” in the polls, maybe she should start dressing more professionally. Like, you know, not constantly in track suits.

 

To protest Sue’s platform, Schue glitter bombed Sue. Yay! I mean, not really what glitter bombing is meant for, but still – yay!

After all, she could use a little sparkle. I hope they do Quinn next week.