Hey look, it’s our very first “Screening Room”! What’s a Screening Room, you ask? Read all about it here.
Welcome to the “Teen Stars We Loved” screening room. Here we’ll watch Ringer and Hart of Dixie, featuring some of our fave teen stars, all growed up.
This week’s episodes:
Ringer – “Pilot”
Hart of Dixie – Hasn’t started yet. Things move slower in the south, you know.
What went down:
After waiting for what I would classify as “far too long”, Sarah Michelle Gellar is back on television with a classic mistaken identity thriller. For reals guys, I don’t think I’ve seen such talented twin acting since Lohan’s in The Parent Trap. Except, instead of one twin being an outdoorsy tomboy and the other an uptight WASP, here one is a former stripper/prostitute and recovering drug addict, and the other is…an uptight WASP. Hmm, I sense a formula at work. At any rate, I think my biggest challenge with this show will be choosing my favourite (spoiler: the bitchy WASP). At first, the fashion was a little shaky but I suppose when you start a series in Wyoming, you don’t exactly have a bevy of options. Yes my friends, there will be plaid, but the bulk of “Ringer” takes place in New York City, so we should be just fine. Did I mention there are WASPs?
Let’s take a look at the main characters.
1) Bridget: The Prostitute With a Heart of… well… alright, she has good intentions.
Of course, good intentions do not buy fashion sense. I’m all for a 70s revival – I even shaved my beard into a mustache recently – but this leather coat with wool trim has gots. ta. go.
2) Siobhan: The Devil Wears Scarves.
Allow me to state that there will be a LOT of silk scarves in this show. I mean, girlfriend has a whole drawer dedicated to her collection. But there’s more to Siobhan than meets the eye. You can’t exactly trust a woman who fakes her own death in the first 20 minutes of a new series. There’s something to be said for subtlety, Siobhan. Also, maybe instead of giant pyramid studs, we embellish with something a little more accessible next time. Now, and tell me if I’m crazy, but could we try a stripe?
3) Andrew: The Stuffy, Distant – though I have the sense we’ll grow to love him – British husband.
Silly Brits, when will they understand they can only be played two ways on American television: carefree spirits who buck family values and dedication to tradition, or uptight stereotypes who want nothing more than a sense of decorum and spot of tea. Poor Andrew, he went from a frigid WASP to a prostitute in recovery. Either way, he’s not seeing any action for a while. Thank you, I’ll be here all week, tip your waiters.
4) Gemma: The Best Friend Who Adores Patterns.
Yes! Every show needs a brassy red-head. Or maybe I’m just going through Mad Men withdrawl? I think the best thing about having Gemma for a friend would be that you’ll always hear her before you see her. Although, you should enjoy the gift of sight while you have it because these clashing colours just might detach your retinas.
5) Henry: Gemma’s Out of Work Author Husband.
In case you couldn’t tell from this photo, Henry is a total skeez. Which is a shame because he’s the best dressed man on the show; and mighty handsome. I suppose it’s a curse male writers must bear: a talent for language, and an eye for impeccable style. Sigh.
6) Victor: The Good Cop. Agent. Detective? Whatever, he’s got a gun and a badge.
Ah, Nestor Carbonell, my favourite actor who wears eyeliner and claims that it’s all natural. Maybe it is my friend, but whatever you’re doing, you making off with some gorgeous lashes. Don’t expect much in the way of fashion from this guy, he’s your typical cop. Suits. Broad ties. Muted colours. Pants that always seem just half an inch too short.
So, what can we expect from Ringer?
- A lot of warming accessories. In this episode alone there were two knitted shawls and four silk scarves.
- Deceit, intrigue and gun play. Someone is definitely going to be shot accidentally if Bridget keeps hiding her guns in the scarf drawer. I’m just sayin’.
- Emotional revelations. Bound to happen when a wife/stepmother who had all the warmth and maternal instinct of a honeybadger suddenly turns into an attentive, engaged woman. Guards will be let down, and devastation will inevitably follow.
- Cops who will dress like it’s 2001 all the time. Every time.
- Hopefully, a lot of puns on the title of the show i.e. “they’re a dead RINGER for each other!”
So what did I think? While I’m down for some cheesy television, I’m still on the fence whether or not this series will hold my attention. For the moment, I’m giving Ringer another chance, as I’m curious to see how this mystery will all play out. Specifically: why is Siobhan an evil mastermind chilling in a very sexy atelier in Paris? Can Bridget pull off a convincing NYC socialite act? What will the loft renovations look like? Will Bridget/Siobhan venture into hat territory? They’ll just have to step up their dramz next week. And focus more on the bitchy characters. They’re my favourite.
It’s time to vote! Your input determines if we move Ringer (and eventually, Hart of Dixie) from the Screening Room and into a full recap of its very own!