A sweater from Chuck, and now from Rufus too! Happy day! While this one is a pretty basic shade of dove grey/beige, the chainmail-style raised pattern is rather eye-catching.

 

But Serena could be attention-grabbing wearing a sack. She’s reusing the mushroom coloured shrug from The Ex-Files, a cute little piece, and contrasting its muted shade with cranberry coloured thigh highs which make her legs go on for miles. I adore her shoes: they’re grey, over-buckled and vintage, a surprising and lovely choice from her.

 

S returns to casual form later in a maroon sweater with a deep and spangled V-neck, since she finds it very hard to last long without her sequins. I might have chosen a jazzier bottom than the omnipresent skinny jeans, but I don’t have legs up to my ears.

 

Her sparkles attract Aaron Rose, whose home is clearly Brooklyn since he has a) ironic facial hair, b) hipster glasses and c) a plaid shirt. This show is turning me off the entire borough.

 

Serena decides to hunt said scruffy artiste in a lampshade – stretchy, stripy fabric in a range of indeterminate colours, one sleeve on and one sleeve off, weirdly translucent and blousy and ‘I’m pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be worn like that’. Nevertheless, there’s gold in it, so Serena glows.

Also, her hair is fantastically tousled this whole epi.

 

More hipster glasses, Aaron! This time they’re tortoiseshell, which I would love to say pops against his tragic hair…except it doesn’t. He’s wearing some weird blue smock shirt thing, which I do not approve of. Even overalls would be better. And has he got a cold? Is that the explanation behind that dreary scarf?

 

Is it a shirt? Is it a dress? Is it a shirtdress? Frankly, it’s Vanessa, so choose the worst of the three and you’re probably right.

The large print on whatever it is she’s wearing isn’t quite bright enough in my opinion, and I’ll just skate over the habitual layered gold necklaces in favour of her deep blue cuff, which is actually acceptable. Might I suggest a brighter purse? Maybe yellow, like the print?

 

Serena’s tribute to Brooklyn and her newfound love interest is a leather jacket, worn over her pleated purple dress. It’s cut far too low and we don’t see enough of it to judge, but I’m guessing it has spaghetti straps; no wonder Serena is unrestrained and inappropriate.

A word of advice, Eric Daman: Blake Lively has many talents, stop showcasing your favourite two.

 

Oh Lord.

No, Vanessa.

No.

Betty Draper may espouse this style of dress, but why in the world didn’t V get it fitted? There’s too much fabric in the sleeves and around the bust which makes her chest look saggy, and the belt isn’t tight enough to outline her waist. The final blow is the medallion Vanessa decided would totally smarten up her grandma’s dress. It’s ugly. End of.

 

As Aaron’s art show drones on late into the night, Rufus shows his stripes: a suit with very similar colours to Nate’s earlier shirt. The pinstripes are perhaps a deeper shade of red and the fabric is more black than blue, but there’s still a resemblance…no points for the black shirt. If you wear it with a black suit, you look like a Sith lord, if you wear it with a bright suit, you look like a ‘70s pop icon.

The Brooklynites can’t win, can they?

At least not with me…

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