So, ABC Family has totally been hitting a home run this summer. Mostly. I mean, Switched at Birth was kind of lamesauce, but PLL, Nine Lives of Chloe King and now The Lying Game? Totally worthy of baseball metaphors I don’t understand.

But we’re here to talk Lying Game.

Teenage twins totally hang out in matching bikinis, right?

Whatever. Y’all need to take a look at the closet of Sutton Mercer. Even if the story is lame, wardrobe should provide us with some good times:

Although, who the hell hangs up their shorts? And bathing suits? Am I the only one who shoves both of those things into a drawer? The obscenely and fictionally wealthy really do live differently from the rest of us.

 

So let’s meet our twins. First we have poor Emma Becker. Literally. She’s poor. She’s in foster care with white trash and a pervy foster brother.

She runs, she plays tennis by herself, she has questionable taste.

Honey, just because you are headed to Phoenix doesn’t mean you need to go for a southwest motif embroidery on your denim.

 

And then there is Emma’s long lost twin, Sutton Mercer. On a hunt for her birth parents, Sutton discovered Emma. Sutton is the fashion plate of the two sisters: she’s rich, loves a good tailored jacket (I counted at least four in this episode), and believes in daytime glitter. She’s also a bitch to just about everyone and their dog. In fact, she’d probably kick a puppy if it got near her shoes.

 

She also doesn’t believe in casual wear. Of any kind. Because this is what she wears to meet her twin. At a bus station. At 8:50 a.m.

I know Emma, I know. Expensive yoga gear would have done the trick. I wouldn’t look down on a wealthy teen in Lululemons at the bus station before 9 a.m.

 

So, in case you’re wondering about the story, here it is in a nutshell: After Skyping with her long lost twin for a few months, Emma’s trashy foster mom accuses her of stealing $500, so Emma books it for Phoenix to find said twin. Meanwhile, Sutton is pretty much living the poor little rich girl life. When Emma shows up, she tells her she’s suddenly got a clue about their birth parents and its in LA (which is also where the brother of her friend happens to be. Probably not a coincidence). So Sutton suggests they switch for two days because adoptive parents just don’t understand. And Emma agrees, although it’s not really clear why (the cops aren’t putting out an APB across multiple states over a runaway teen who stole $500), and somehow fools just about everyone. “Everyone” includes: two BFFs, two parents, two boyfriends, one sister and one nemesis. When she goes to find Sutton in some mountain cabin, there’s no sign of her, just a necklace that Sutton is never without. And one of the boyfriends knows Emma isn’t Sutton (it’s in her kiss). And then someone steals Sutton’s computer, which Sutton already told us contains her entire life. Girlfriend really should look into a password. (thanks to the friends and family of Sutton for being so helpful and pointing out what was probably the obvious. A lot. It helped Emma and I acclimate to Sutton’s life).

 

Since Emma is living in Sutton’s closet of tailored jackets, she’s so far doing okay fashion wise. The friends however? Accessorizing isn’t always their forte.

Mads is a bit of a hot mess here. The yellow purse? And the boots with that outfit? Individually, I like them, together I definitely don’t. And okay, I also question a Chanel style jacket with dress shorts. Middle friend Char (who, dear god, if you saw her in the all beige she wore in this episode, you’d ask for an intervention) just needs something a little more flattering on the waist. Or a tailor to take her skirt in a bit.

 

Vying for most questionable is sister Laurel.

The braids are just frightening (thank god LC opted to make the side braid popular and not the “Heidi meets alien” braid) and the cocktail dress with oversized necklace? Yeah, that was for first day of tenth grade.

 

The show has its Gossip Girl moments. Like this brooder:

Not unlike our boy Dan Humphrey, Ethan here is deep and pensive and shit. How do I know? Because he wears henleys. A lot. And broods. A lot.

 

And like Gossip Girl, they love a good dress up party. I really hope they have one of these every week (and if the previews are right, they totally will. Score!).

Girlfriends look a little wobbly in the heels (practice ladies, practice) and Mads once again misses the mark on shoe choices…her cocktail dress is ruined by what appears to be a dressy combat/biker boot. Or maybe she watches Glee and has adopted Quinn’s style.

 

All in all, a solid pilot. Well done, Lying Game. We’re looking forward to more, next week.

P.S. bonus points for hiring Nikolas Cassadine! From GH! …What? Just me? He got a little puffy, but it’s nice to see one of my teen soap opera crushes is still working. He plays the cop brother of the brooder who is overly suspicious of Emma/Sutton. Her room being broken into really isn’t a sure sign that she’s a twin impersonating a twin with secrets to hide.