Episode Synopsis:  We’re throwing out a major sad face for this episode because Aunt Jenna is dead. Again. This time for reals. Actually, a lot of people died this episode including Jules, John, Greta and Elena. Guess which one miraculously came back from the dead? Hint: amazing hair. In a sub-plot, Caroline and Matt bust a cap in Tyler’s lupine behind, after which Caroline finds out that Matt’s been playing dumb about that whole compulsion to forget she’s a vampire. Seriously, you can’t trust ANYONE these days. Klaus, being all Klaus-y, nearly achieves the hybrid status until Bonnie reenacts some scenes from “The Craft” with help from Elijah. Yeah, it looks like everything is wrapped up nicely until Elijah double-crosses our heroes and takes off with Klaus. Not a great night for Mystic Falls.

 

Oh, Alaric. Sweet, full of good intentions, just trying to do his best, misfortune laden Alaric. Can I call you Al? I get that you’re all heroic because I’ve been watching for a while now but seriously, stop ripping off Damon’s style.

 

Slack will definitely be cut for Al this week though considering Jenna gone done and died. Wear your leather jacket with solemn pride, my friend. You deserve it.

This week’s episode was very intense so granted there weren’t a lot of wardrobe changes but, and stress that as a very sassy but, when it comes to the men of Vampire Diaries – when is variety stressed anyway? Elijah always look like that accountant who tried to screw you on your taxes. An immortal, bloodthirsty accountant.

 

“What you don’t like my v-neck?” – no, Stefan, I like it just fine. Seriously. I’d like it even better if you were in daylight and it magically fell off. But what do I know, I’m just a writer.

 

When a man decides to sacrifice himself in an unholy ritual involving nearly every branch of the supernatural tree to save your life – that’s love. When you hear of his plan and protest like some whiny teenager and boldly claim that everything is going to be alright – that’s Elena Gilbert. But, when you stand brooding above a rock quarry in some really awesome dark denim – that’s all Stefan Salvatore. 

 

Apparently in Mystic Falls, the villains wear colour bucking a standard trend in storytelling. Also, visitors usually die or are subjected to a whole bunch of pain. Remind me to never visit this town; poor Klaus didn’t see it coming.

 

Speaking of Klaus: who would have thought that the first vampire in existence would be such a hot British dude? I can’t see the chain he’s wearing but rest assured, I won’t like it. Men wearing chains is akin to women wearing galaxy-print leggings. You just don’t do it.

 

With all of the excitement happening at the quarry, I wonder what Tyler’s been getting up to? You know, aside from transitioning into a werewolf and getting shot. Oh look at that, he’s a nakers under a blanket. Who needs fashion when you look like that? Me – but I’m a modest kind of guy.

“Caroline, look! Check out my muscles!”

“Yeah…so about this trying to kill me thingy…stop it.”

 

Why Caroline chose Matt, who’s looking like a GQ version of a Big Buck Magazine cover boy in this hunting jacket, over Tyler is beyond my comprehension. I guess I like dumb jocks over the outdoorsy type.

 

Now for those of you who have adopted wearing a leather jacket everywhere due to watching Vampire Diaries, I present to you “How to Wear A Leather Jacket In the Event of a Potential Threat to Civilization” featuring Damon Salvatore.

Lesson One: Own that jacket. Whether you’re cracking jokes or skulls.

 

Lesson Two: Crazy Eyes with a dash of Murderer Mouth adds to the clout your jacket carries.

 

Lesson Three: Don’t wear leather to a funeral, however, substitute it with a fitted suit and abandon the tie. Still badass, still sexy, always Damon.

*I was born to be a mediocre copywriter*

 

Here’s a tidbit of info that should not come as a surprise: I hate waffle prints. I don’t understand them and I don’t care to; don’t even get me started on ribbed cotton. Jeremy seems to have a penchant for the textured fabrics and if he wasn’t so darn cute, I’d hold it against him.

 

I definitely won’t win over any diehard Vampire Diaries fans but I’ll say this anyway: John Gilbert is a total fox. Well, in this episode anyway. The fitted shirt, biker style jacket and jeans that are tighter than any dad’s I’ve ever met are working for the vampire hunter. Too bad he’s dead. Like our love.

 

So what was my favourite bit of menswear this week? Jeremy’s funeral suit. The circumstances in which he had to bust it out are less than favourable because I loved me some Aunt Jenna but you can’t deny how good he looks.