There was a bonus to this week’s epiosde: ye olde timey vampire style! Sadly, lighting back in the Civil War era was hazy and dark.

 First off, we’ve got your founding families. Jonathan Gilbert went with a classic tie and simple brown suit.

While his pal Thomas went with a giant puffy ascot. It could be the puffy ascot that made Thomas an easy mark for Evil Olde Timey Stefan.


Thomas’ ladyfriend Honoria, who wan’t the brightest, considering they lived in a town full of vampires (just stay inside already), was a bit stuffy for my tastes. The quilted jacket with all the trimmings looked like she was trying too hard to show off the Founding Family money. Again, I have to wonder if the fancy outfit is what makes you a mark for getting killed back in the day. (Then again, it helps that Jonathan Gilbert had a magical cocktail ring).


The poor maidens of Mystic Falls were showing off the latest in Civil War undergarments. Little has changed since the civil war. Apparently when you’re a vampire on a bender, the girls you invite over will inevitably end up dancing around your living room in their underwear (See Damon, Season One).


Their bosoms were bursting at the seams back in the day.  As for Old Timey Stefan, blood and an open shirt was the way to go. He was like the cover of a historical romance novel. Except, you know, covered in blood.


While the blood does add some colour to his wardrobe, I think he could have achieved that with a brightly coloured ascot or vest. Dude really should think about getting a bib.


I know we’re supposed to be shocked by how evil Olde Timey Stefan was, but what really gets me is how lame and unsexy Olde Timey Damon was. He was totally buttoned up tight in the billowy shirts and had the worst hair. Thank heavens he ditched the wet blanket look and has developed into an interesting bad ass with well-fitted shirts. It’s no wonder that Katherine preferred Olde Timey Stefan.


This flashback into the Olde Timey Salvatore past included a visit from the now dead Lexi. She was all bustles and cloaks back in the day. She was looking better than both Founding lady Honoria (less tryhard) and the Mystic Falls Maidens (less slutty).


However, her weird little bowler hat perched on her head leaves something to be desired.


Maybe I’m just confused as to why she’s wearing the hat inside. I’ve watched Gone with the Wind enough times to know the ladies took their hats off. And that was historically correct, wasn’t it?