Does anyone get the impression that Blair’s not too happy about being in trouble and/or in the same room as a Humphrey? Though her hair may be perfectly groomed, it’s the slightly wonky eyebrow pencil that really gives away Blair’s raging inner turmoil.

 

Oh dear, too many layers! Horizontal striping over a bulky shirt does not a slender silhouette make, though I do approve of the tie. The grey cape is lovely, gathered at the back for a fishtail effect. Blair’s purse is patent black and businesslike, as are her wellington boots – she looks kind of like an irritated dominatrix with papers due.

 

Much better: two layers of contrasting stripes add a certain quirk to Blair’s ensemble, complete with a bright red headband to draw the eye away from all that dark fabric. Note the cute pink and white buttons on her blazer.

 

Just a slightly longer shot of the same. How gorgeous are those three quarter sleeves exposing her longer blazer? Another navy skirt, however, so there is still room for improvement.

 

Ah.

Right.

I like the idea of this outfit. Blair is returning to a more pulled together version of herself complete with white headband, blue Oxford shirt, red argyle vest, black skirt and sheer white tights. However, in execution…no. The white is a overwhelming, and that slightly overlarge shirt beneath a tight vest doesn’t work too well; it’s overkill. I won’t say anything about the tights (other than why Blair, why?)

 

The first time I saw Blair’s tuxedo dress, I knew we were meant for each other. The unstructured bodice, the stark black and white…oh yes. She pairs it white tights (AGAIN!) and ankle strap black shoes which add a little spice to the mix. To visit Vanessa, however, she adds a slate and black hound’s-tooth coat and giant gold bag. The coat seems okay, but the enormous purse? Is she trying to blend in with V?

 

Why does it look like S is biting her lip on a secret? Why, because she is, of course! The blue and navy of this cardigan go beautifully with Serena’s eyes (loving the hound’s-tooth stripes on the collar), and she keeps things classy in a plaid skirt and opaque tights. I included an extra shot of her tan jacket with sheepskin collar because it’s interesting to see the different ways our girls work leather: Blair’s look is all ‘tie me down’ and sharp corners, while Serena’s is softer, and also nicely matches her dark brown boots.

 

So very Serena: soft white waistcoat over a long sleeved navy tee, loose tie and delectable charm necklace. Observe the pout, now…

 

Examine this coat carefully, readers. Why? Because it’s almost identical to one Lily wears in a later pic. The only difference is that Serena’s coat is double-breasted.

 

Is that happiness or fear stretching Serena’s face? I’d say it’s fear, with her phobia being patterns: sure, she looks good in a beige long sleeved tee, shiny white waistcoat and blue jeans, but would it kill her to mix it up a little bit? Maybe marrying into the sartorially minded Bass family is not such a bad idea…

 

I adore this dress. If women have theme colours, then Serena’s is certainly gold: golden hair, glowing skin, and a desirable little black dress with gold studs and exposed zipper. Her nails are also painted gold, and her eye makeup matches. Nicely played, S.

 

This coat tears me in two. On one hand, it’s gorgeously oversized and a wonderful shade of dove grey, with large buttons and billowing sleeves. On the other, it’s not cut in sections and so envelops Serena’s torso, killing all the appeal of that wonderful dress.

 

We never get a full shot of this outfit, but I love Lil’s hair loose, and a tie neck blouse and black sweater are just as appropriate as you can get for a forty something mother of two. The caramel coloured coat fits her well and brings out the highlights in her hair.

 

Rufus re-enters Lily’s life, and BOOM! – her fashion sense goes out the window. I don’t know what to make of this shiny, silky smock; it fits awkwardly across the bust, pooches at the waist and has pockets. For all she whips Eleanor in the UES mother stakes, Lily kind of looks like she dressed in the dark.

 

Reasons to support Team van der Bass = this outfit. A cowl neck and draping soften Lily’s angular silhouette, though I’m not quite sure where she was going with the colour (camouflage?)

 

“You want me to wear what?”

 That purple blouse is so pretty and classy…and then she pairs it with the most enormous pair of high-waisted brown pants known to man.

 

Anna Wintour apparently always needs a white Hermes scarf somewhere on her person. Lily borrows it to bid adieu to Rufus and rocks the trend, though I’m not sure about that coat. Why do all her clothes have pockets in the most awkward places? She has slight camel toe in those disturbing pants, too.

 

Elegant, chic and complete with Stepford Wife smile. Lily does look a little choked in that high neck and black is an odd choice for an engagement party, but then she’s marrying Bart Bass. ‘Hanging loose’ is not exactly his strong point.

 

This is where mixing it up goes too far. Vanessa accessorises a glossy pink and black bomber jacket with a weird grey/lilac colored scarf thing which has gold chains sewn into it (kind of like Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame) and messenger bag, plus her trusty camera to capture all of Chuck and Blair’s dirty little secrets on tape. Underneath, she wears what appears to be a blue/grey/black striped vest (either that or she’s flashing her bra). Tsk, tsk, V.

 

Oh God. Take the horrible, shiny, kind-of-like-a-parka, puffy, leatherette imitating monstrosity out of here. Vanessa looks like she just got eaten by a Jersey Shore style car seat. Why would you wear that? Why? Especially to go and see Blair, who dresses like Audrey Hepburn? WHY?

 

I almost gave Vanessa snaps here – that striped sweater is subtly sparkly and paired nicely with a denim romper – but then I realised she was wearing three different necklaces and big red earrings. Meh.