The following people are now officially on Blair Cornelia Waldorf’s shit list because they chose not to attend her party or they weren’t ever on her list to begin with.

Nate is definitely the former.  He promises her he’ll be there, with her “birthday present” and never shows.

Why?

He’s too busy wearing this excessively boring shirt.

And this isn’t any better.

Interesting Note:  this last week, I did a recap of a current episode (“Gaslit”) and in it, Eric wore a blue jacket almost identical to this one—as did Nate.  You think that they must recycle some of the costumes over the years, and I would really hope if they’re going to repeat a look this closely, it’s the same jacket.  If not, that’s just lazy, Eric Daman, and completely unacceptable because it’s not like we’re watching Gossip Girl for the incredibly realistic storylines.

Last episode the shit hit the fan for the Archibalds, and it’s still there, showering the family with even more crap.

Even when he’s going to have his picture taken, Nate can’t be bothered to straighten his tie.  He looks downright slovenly, Anne looks eerily haughty, and the Captain looks just plain resigned to his fate.

Here, he just looks desperate, though classy.  I like the color combinations, and I really like the tie, but it looks like he’s already gone to jail and come back.  Note to the Archibald men:  sloppy and wrinkled clothing, no matter how expensive or carefully, lovingly picked by Anne, doesn’t look good.

This is almost a Chuck look, except he would have been a lot more creative with a shirt choice.  Still, if it wasn’t so rumpled, he’d look really good.

Unlike Eleanor, Anne was smart and listened to my advice regarding her attire.

This is so much better than what she was wearing last episode, or almost any other episode she’s been in.

Yes, she too is wearing white, but I like the scarf detail—it’s very flattering and chic—and the deconstructed cardigan/wrap is a beautiful compliment to her hair color and skin tone.

And what chic pants!  The wool weave on them is rich and textured, and adds interest to the otherwise rather simple combination she’s wearing.  Anne officially gets her first YKYLF Gold Star!

Over in Brooklyn, Dan and Jenny’s mother makes her very first Gossip Girl and YKYLF appearance.  Clearly, she was unprepared because she looks kind of like a bag lady.  Not a great first impression—but then she is a Humphrey, if only by marriage.  Were you really expecting different?  The Humphrey loft seems to be a black hole of fashion.  Jenny combats this in Season 1, but eventually loses the good fight and succumbs to fashion hopelessness.

I’m just going to ignore that cardigan/wrap she’s wearing.  Unlike Anne’s, it’s shapeless and ugly and way too large for her small frame.  It looks like half a Snuggie.  The shirt is kind of unexceptionable, though appliquéd (or embroidered?) flowers are a bit young for someone who’s easily in their late thirties.  Dressing their appropriate age seems to be a thing that almost every adult on this show struggles with.

What truly boggles my mind is the fit of these jeans.  They’re nicely fitted and flattering on top, but around the knee area they become bunchy and tight.  Plus her hair looks limp and like it hasn’t been washed in a week—and we all know Allison hasn’t exactly been wasting away, crying her eyes out alone every night.

As for Allison’s estranged husband, Rufus, he’s apparently lost the last vestiges of his brush with fabulousness, Lily Van der Woodsen.

Instead of being in the wilds of Brooklyn, Rufus looks like he belongs in the wild, chopping down trees or doing something else manly and athletic.  And honestly, can anyone see Rufus doing anything outdoorsy, ever?

I didn’t think so.

On a positive note, his hair looks better than his wife’s.

Jenny plays the opposite of Nate this episode—she’s doing anything she can to reunite her parents, while he takes more of a “I could give a crap” attitude.

This is a great outfit for Jenny.  Blue really looks wonderful on her, even if it’s a bit cliché for a blue-eyed blonde to wear it.  Maybe it’s the very slight wave she has going on with her, but god, she looks so much like Serena.  I almost forgot how identical they used to look, considering how far the youngest Humphrey’s fallen into the fashion devil’s snare.

Jenny also intends to go to Blair’s party, but gets de-railed by a pouty, emo Nate Archibald, who walks the streets of New York with Little J, complaining about his privileged existence.

When she’s dressing for Upper East Side events, Jenny is very hit or miss.  She’s still so  new to the scene, you can tell she’s trying just a bit too hard and is more than a little lost when it comes to what to wear.

Are those white anklets with heels?  Jenny, you should know better.

The coat is actually really lovely, and though I can’t see the bright pink dress very well, I’m not sure it was the right choice, just based on the color.

Obviously Jenny isn’t rich enough to have a coordinating coat for every outfit she owns, but this is a particularly bad color combination.

I don’t have a picture of this, but what really struck me about Jenny was when she returns to the loft after talking with Nate for hours, she arrives wearing not the above dress and coat, but the same blue sweater she was wearing earlier that day.  Huh.  I’m not sure if that was a mistake on the part of the show or what.  See, this is what happens when you comb through screencaps as if your life depended on it—you catch all sorts of interesting abberations.

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