A lot of changes of heart happening in this episode. Juliet has a change of scheming heart.  Dan’s heart says Serena is the one. Nate’s says the same because of Juliet’s schemes.  Chuck and Blair go from Hate Sex to No Sex to I Love You Sex.  Colin realizes he likes Serena more than teaching at Columbia.  And Serena decides against inappropriate relationships with older men and chooses Dan.  Or not.  Vanessa has lost the plot completely and is so hell bent on taking Serena down that she now believes Juliet’s lies.

 

Not a lot of outfits to work with this week and a lot of overlapping storylines, so we’ll do this as a “before the ballet” and an “at the ballet” sort of thing.

Let’s start with Serena’s choice of clothes for school that day.  On their own, the pieces of her outfit aren’t that bad. Together, they make an unflattering and confusing mess.

 

The sweater tucked into the scarf like skirt makes for a weird waistline. Maybe a belt would have helped? But as we know from last season, the costume department is seriously short on belts.  Instead, they decide to add a blazer to the outfit.

 

I like the jacket, I do. But not with that outfit.  In fact, it was an episode full of questionable jackets. Juliet, who seems to think that being rich and fancy means you put a jacket with every outfit.

 

She also seems to think that being rich means you wear only one monochromatic colour and then stick with that. Her jackets and colour palette should have been their first clue that she didn’t belong.

 

The price tag lumps under the armpit of her dress should have been their second clue.  Then again, maybe that’s why she wears a jacket with every outfit: it’s there to hide the price tags!

Juliet needed to take a lesson from Blair when it came to doing her greys and blacks.

 

Blair made some slightly better jacket decisions.  Except for two things. One, the jacket highlights the pouf on the front of her skirt in a weird sort of way.

I guess that pouf is so big you’d need a special jacket to wear with it. Or, you know, you could choose not to wear the skirt with the giant fabric growth on the front of it.

The second exception to Blair’s outfit is that she wore the plaid with the cute bird print.

 

Actually, it’s not the mixing of patterns that is bothering me, it’s the blouse.  Two bows on your blouse and a bow on your skirt?  That’s a few bows too many.

It was the guys who made the better choices in outwear this week.  I know.  I’m shocked that I wrote that sentence as well.  Usually when I review the dude outfits on the show, my sentences start with “Yawn” or “Why is Rufus even on this show?”

 

Okay, so the rest of Nathaniel’s outfit is kind of schlumpy Humphrey, but I can dig that jacket.

Speaking of Humphrey, I was surprisingly impressed by Dan’s choice of outerwear.

 

Looking sharp Dan, looking sharp. I also like that you wore a look of disaproval for much of the episode, rather than your usual look of righteous indignation.  But let’s get back to your jacket and take a closer look. I thought it might have been a trench coat (note to costume department: get Dan a trenchcoat!)

 

Not a trench, but still looking good.  I also approve of your crew neck sweater. His recent tendency towards chest hair baring v-necks has been disturbing and I appreciate that someone has decided against them (knock on wood).

Our billionaire businessmen Tripp Colin (is it just me, or do they look the same?) looks, well, boring and businessy. My money is on Serena choosing Nate over Dan because she seems to like guys with boring clothes and lots of hair gel.

 

Thank heavens for Chuck and his purple, because otherwise, I woudn’t even bother to show you these suits.

 

The attention to detail in Chuck’s outfits never fail.  There is green in the pattern on the tie, in the stripes and in the pocket square. As always, his committment to purple is admirable.

Even when he wears his ex-girlfriend’s robe, he chooses the purple robe.  That is Blair’s robe, right? (and seriously, that may have been my favourite moment of the episode. More ridiculous Chuck please!)

As I mentioned in the synopsis, Vanessa is kind of off in her own plot. The one where everyone is out to get her and she needs to take Serena down. And if ever there was an Afterschool Special about over-accessorizing, Vanessa would be the main character.

Rings! Cuffs! Big earrings! Chains Beads! A turquoise studded belt!  And all worn with a patterned dress! Those are the horrors of over-accessorizing, kids.

 

Minus the over-accessorizing, I could almost deal with that dress. That is, until I got a close up.

Sweet jesus in a breadbasket! The pattern is done completely in beadwork.  That girl really does need an Afterschool Special. Or an intervention.

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