Episode Synopsis: Jenny returns to the Upper East Side, an unwitting pawn in the ongoing war between Chuck and Blair. Blair sabotages Jenny’s interview with Tim Gunn, but Jenny gets even by telling Gossip Girl she slept with Chuck. After Jenny is sent back to Hudson by Dan, Chuck and Blair form the beginnings of a truce. Meanwhile, Juliet’s brother shivved Nate’s Dad. Also, Cab Guy and Serena spend the night together, only to find out the next day that he’s her new professor.

 

Blair dream sequences make me happy. I love Blair’s Wait Until Dark-inspired outfit – not only is it very Audrey, it’s the polar opposite of anything Jenny would wear. The skirt has a great bow detail in the back, and I love the shoes. Amazing how Blair’s well-dressed even in her dreams.

 

I cannot decide if I like or hate this outfit. Help. On the one hand, I hate Blair in stiff clothes, and this top looks starchy and rigid. However, I love the skirt, and the stiff top kind of works with it. And yet I can’t wholly get behind this outfit, and I don’t know why.

 

Even if I have questions about the outfit, I don’t have any doubt in my mind that I hate her shoes.

I do not like the word “cankles.” It’s a horrible, mean word, and I avoid using it at all costs. Except for now. Those shoes give Blair Waldorf cankles. Are we sure they’re not part of Chuck’s plan to destroy Blair?

 

I’m sorry, Blair. Please don’t be mad. Your robe is pretty. And your skin is glowing. Please don’t banish me to Hudson.

 

When she was livetweeting the episode, Jen didn’t seem all that enthused about Blair’s nude dress, but I love it. I know it’s a neutral, and I’m as sick of Juliet’s neutrals as anyone, but this dress is sparkly and fits Blair perfectly. Also, it’s sparkly. Plus, it’s very similar to her outfit from the opening dream sequence, and I really like that kind of symmetry.

 

Pajamas as only Blair can do it. These are masculine and sexy at the same time. I think I covet her pajama wardrobe more than her regular wardrobe.

 

Welcome back, Hot Mess Humphrey. I see Hudson hasn’t softened your look. Oh, and you brought your extensions. Good – I was starting to forget how fake they looked, but now I’m reminded again of their striking resemblance to Barbie hair.

And stand up straight. Hunched over that rack of clothes, you look like Gollum with a cheap weave.

 

This top is not doing anything good to her chest. She’s 17, but she’s got post-menopausal breasts in that shirt. I feel kind of creepy commenting on this, but given that Taylor’s been flashing them at concerts, I figure they’re fair game. Eric Daman, either get her a better bra or don’t put her in that top. I don’t even like Jenny and I feel kind of bad for her right now.

 

I couldn’t get a clear full-length shot of Jenny’s dress at the party, but it’s pretty much standard Jenny fare – black, very short, with sheer black hose. I don’t know why I hate the tights – nothing makes me happier than a good opaque pair of tights paired with a dress – but for some reason those sheer black tights always make Jenny’s outfit look even more streetwalker-esque.

And can we please get this girl a meeting with Bobbi Brown? Jenny needs to learn about neutrals and emphasizing either her eyes or her lips.

 

A clear close-up shot. It’s too bad this dress is on Jenny. I really like the look of the dress (except for the slit on the bottom, which just seems excessive). On Serena, this dress would be gorgeous. But if it were on Serena, the dress wouldn’t be carefully concealed by long blonde tendrils of polyester.

 

Finally, a decent outfit. Over the knee boots are balanced – see, Jenny? Balanced – by a loose tee and what appears to be the comfiest sweater ever. It’s a perfect travelling outfit. Too bad that we get to see it for all of five seconds, but she wore that green thing for the bulk of the episode.

Goodbye, Jenny. Have fun in Hudson, the magical land where eyeliner grows on trees and corn husks can be worn as extensions.

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