Whoa, Dan! Been working out? Your shoulders look huge!

I like this jacket less upon closer inspection. It’s a little too Members Only for my taste.

Dapper Dan, ready to pick Serena up on their Big Date. Interesting pattern on his shirt. It reminds me of…um…ohhhh…what were those things called? Not amebas, not paramecium…the little cells with a whip at the end. Anyone know what I’m talking about? Was it just me who slept through science class?

I’m pretty sure I have this shirt, except in blue. At any rate, Lily is looking very UES here, what with her status bag and Hermes belt.

I call this a Serious Bag, because you only carry it when something Serious is about to occur. Very good for parent-teacher meetings, court proceedings, job interviews, and of course, for ditching your kid at a rehab center.

Cute chocolate and pink nightie.

A great example of Rock Lily meets UES Lily. She’s got the great leather jacket (like daughter, like mother) but is also carrying a Birkin bag

Should’ve left the jacket on. This shirt does absolutely nothing for her. The cut and the color are both awful.

Squeee! The K&I letters are back! Check out I’s cute tights. They’re a little Lolita, but that’s probably the point. I also like her hat. Don’t care for K’s long shorts.

So, you thought Jenny’s sleepover dress was silly? Check out K&I’s dresses.

Ok, these girls FREAK ME OUT. I don’t know their names, but I’ve started referring to them as The Minions. They’re so Children of the Corn, no?

Apparently one of them is moonlighting on Real Housewives of Orange County. Ha! Kidding again! This is at Blair’s sleepover.

Outfit #2 for the party. I have nothing to say about this.

Group shot. What the HELL is K wearing??